Visiting the UKs premiere literary festival in Hay-on-Wye is one of the highlights of the year for me, walking the winding streets of the town and searching the countless bookshops, beer drinking, eating, chatting, drawing, camping, and celebrity spotting [Dom Joly, Marcus Brigstock, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jimmy Carr [he almost trod on me], Dan Cruikshank [he said hello, I think he recognised me] and that actress who used to be the Pathologist on Waking the Dead]. Ideally, I suppose, the ‘events’ should be the exciting junctions in the route through the whole proceedings, and it was thrilling coming face-to-face with Marc Almond whilst dancing to him singing Tainted Love. I felt the untainted affection flow between us, I wanted him to feel loved and he wanted to be loved, a thoroughly mutually platonic abundance of affection, though my individual feelings were somewhat swamped by the outpourings from the other 60 or so fourty-somethings dancing with just, if not more enthusiasm. It was a rare chance as the audience was quite small and the venue a tent in a muddy field. We also saw Kathleen Turner, who was as formidable as I expected but so not Hollywood and all the better for it. Of all the cultural wealth available in such a public arena I found a private event that for me was more special than any memories of times past or witty banter about Shakespeare’s colloquelisms. In the woods next to our camping field, in the shade of the tall canopy of trees and sometime in the early hours of Friday morning a litter of 7 piglets was born, I chanced to walk by their pen at about 6am and peeped in to see how the heavily expectant pig was doing. She had been trailing her belly through the muddy tracks the previous day having broken out of the pen and come visiting the campsite toilets as pigs like to do. As I leaned over there she lay grunting in pleasure and breathing deeply, her belly swamped in shiny clean piglets, suckling rapidly, and there the afterbirth warm and steaming in the early morning air. This was just lovely and eclipsed the festival of words and music for who needs noise more beautiful than the grunt of a happy pig.
